Akatsuki Randomness
by Hope in the Shadows
Summary: Funny bits of Randomness! Previously know as Akatsuki Halloween.
1. Akatsuki Halloween

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Kishimoto-sensei does.

PuRpLe: Yeah I know it's a day late but whatever.

Twi: We just came up with it last night and had to wait til now to post. Sorry! -

Akatsuki Halloween

_**Somewhere in Akatsuki hideout….**_

So here it is Halloween and the Akatsuki have been ordered to dress up for Halloween. And one of them has been told what to dress up as. This particular Akatsuki member is currently fuming and when his partner comes to check on him, he gets caught into a conversation with the fuming member.

"Why?" screamed Itachi up to the heavens. "Why do I have to do this?"

"Yo," Kisame casually said to the angry Uchiha. "I guess you heard the boss's orders. I can't wait to dress up!"

"Let me guess you're going to be the shark from that movie Jaws?" Itachi said coldly.

"Uh-huh," Smart answers were not the shark mans forte.

"And of course Deidara is going to wear a chicken suit and pass out candy bombs to little children like he does every year."

"I guess so…"

"Tobi's excuse is that he already has a mask on and it's against Hidan's religion, so he just goes and plays the grim reaper for a village."

"Yep, he's going to come home dripping in blood."

"Pein is just going to switch into a different body and I already saw that horrid fairy princess costume of hers." Itachi shudders.

"Well she already acts like a princess."

"And all Kakuzu's doing is a cheap ghost costume!"

"Yeah. The holes aren't even in the right place."

"And worst of all Pein is making me dress up as a GIRL!!!"

At this the fish man laughed so loud and hard that he received a quick death from the Uchiha who had to cross-dress as a girl.

PuRpLe: Yeah that was the bit of randomness that showed up in my mind last night. It's amazing what Halloween candy can do…

Twi: Especially in a neighborhood of drug dealers.


	2. Turned On

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN!!

Okay Mistress Ando, give me the mystical ramen! I wrote you a second chapter!

Twi: Doesn't have anything to do with the original story though. Just some Akatsuki randomness.

_**In Akatsuki somewhere…**_

"See! It freaks me out Sasori-danna, un!"

'This is not my day…' Konan thought about the annoying noise that was coming from the hallway. She had no choice but to go into the hot zone though. This was the only way out of the hideout.

"Hey, Konan! Tell Sasori-danna that this freaks you out." The annoying blonde-haired Deidara called out to her.

He came toward her and reached out his hand. It slid into the curve of her neck. He pulled her to him and placed his face in front of hers. She stared into his visible eye. For once, the obviously gay man seemed like he was straight. Was he going to kiss her? A blush crept into her face and she felt her body melt.

"So what do you think, un?" The blonde removed his hand and moved his face away.

"uh….uh…" Konan turned away trying to hide her red face from the blonde and his lover. ' I can't believe I got turned on by a gay guy!!!'

"See Sasori-danna, un! She got freaked out!" The blonde said not knowing what was truly going on with Konan.

" Um…Deidara…I don't think that's what happened," Sasori told his lover knowing the truth behind the blush on Konan's face.

PuRpLe: Based on true events! Okay, well, the person who takes Sasori's place is a girl, but this really happened to me! I got turned on by my gay friend!

Twi: Maybe you've been reading too many yaoi lemons…

PuRpLe: Blasphemy! How could you say such a thing! Oh, and thanks again for the mystical ramen!


	3. Chicken Suit

**Story:** Akatsuki Randomness (AKA Akatsuki Halloween)

**Chapter:** 3 The Chicken Suit

**Disclaimer:** Don't own and never will unless Kishimoto-sensei decides to sell…

**A/N: **

Twi: Yay! I have now named this story Akatsuki Randomness! I know it says it's complete and all but that's because if I eventually stop posting my bits of randomness then the story will be complete! I'm soo smart!

PuRple: Baka…

Twi: On with the story!!!

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"I hope Sasori-danna likes the costume I got, un!" said a blonde-haired man? Women? It? Well anyways the IT was walking back to the Akatsuki hideout after shopping for supplies in town. Among the packages he had with him was one from a costume shop. "I'm sure he won't be able to keep his hands off me, un! Hehehehe!"

He skipped the rest of the way to the base imagining what his Sasori-danna was going to do when he saw him the costume. He was greeted at the entrance to the hideout by Tobi who skipped happily alongside him saying he was a good boy. Eventually this got on Deidara's nerves and resulted in an attempt by the blonde to blow the so-called 'good boy' up.

After putting the rest of the packages away and making sure that Kisame would get shark fin soup for dinner (you know, for entertainment purposes) he skipped down the hallway to his and his Sasori-danna's room. He skipped to the bathroom and changed into his costume. When he got out, he went and laid on the bed seductively waiting for his Sasori-danna to come to his room.

After a few minutes he heard the familiar pair of footsteps he had been waiting for. Deidara waited as the door opened and the lights flicked on. He loved the shock on his lover's face.

"Hello Sasori-danna, un," he purred seductively.

"D-deidara…,"he stuttered.

"Yes?" he asked all the time thinking 'Have me! Have me!'

"Why are you wearing a chicken suit?"

"Nani? Doesn't it turn you on?"

"No. Not in the least."

"But I got a huge ass boner when I saw it."

"That's because you're weird Deidara." And with that Sasori left the room leaving the chicken suit wearing Deidara to be alone with himself.

"WHO WAS THE BAKA WHO GAVE ME SHARK FIN SOUP?!?!?!" erupted from the dining hall a few seconds later.

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Twi: OMG! I bet all the perverts reading this weren't expecting that! I wonder if I'm going to have to up the rating… I'm kinda pushing the limits here…

PuRpLe: Yes, you are…

Twi: Oh, well… Remember people read & review!


	4. Tobi's Ice Cream

**Story:** Akatsuki Randomness (AKA Akatsuki Halloween)

**Chapter:** 4. Tobi's Ice Cream

**Disclaimer:** Don't own and never will unless Kishimoto-sensei decides to sell…

**A/N: **

Shadows(AKA PuRpLe): OMG!!! You have to read the newest chapter of Naruto! starts crying It was so hic good!

Twi: I know! cries with Shadows

Ruki: you guys are weird…

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Now Tobi, otherwise known as Uchiha Madara the true leader of Akatsuki, liked his Chunky Monkey. He liked it a lot. And it if there was no Chunky Monkey in the freezer it was truly a bad thing. And if somebody ate his Chunky Monkey…well lets just say Tobi was not a good boy.

With that said lets join Tobi who is currently on his way to obtain his Chunky Monkey from the freezer….

Tobi opens the door to the freezer anticipating the awesomeness that was his favorite ice cream in the world. He grabs the carton labeled Chunky Monkey and grabs a spoon from a random drawer. He heads to the lounge room where everyone in the Akatsuki is currently at except for Itachi who's turn it was to go to the grocery store along with the it Deidara. He sits on the couch and opens the container only to find that its EMPTY! Somebody ate his Chunky Monkey!

"WHO THE FUCK ATE MY CHUNKY MONKEY?!?!?!" shouts Tobi at the top of his lungs.

Everyone is shocked at the angry outburst from the self-proclaimed "good boy" of the Akatsuki. Well except Pein, Konan, and Zetsu of course. No one answers Tobi. This just makes him angrier.

"Fine then," Tobi says more calmly. "You're all stuck in this room until I find out who ate my Chunky Monkey."

If they could see the evil glint in his eyes they would have ran like hell from the Uchiha while they had the chance.

3 Hours Later…

Itachi and Deidara arrived back at the Akatsuki base to find Tobi interrogating/ torturing the rest of the Akatsuki members. Deidara was now officially scared of Tobi and was currently trying to unsuccessfully

hide behind a potted plant. Itachi just put on an evil smirk already knowing what had caused Tobi to not be a "good boy."

"May I ask why you are acting this way Tobi?"

"Somebody ate my Chunky Monkey? Do you know who?"

"Why yes I do."

"Then who did it?"

"Why you did Tobi. Though, to tell the truth, you weren't exactly eating it.

"Huh?"

"Remember how you and Deidara got drunk last night?" Tobi nodded his head. "Well it led to some very kinky sex and you used the ice cream to make a Deidara sundae."

cricket chirp

"I've got it all on tape if you want to see it." Itachi said with an evil grin. "I've already got it posted on the internet. Oh and we picked you up some more Chunky Monkey."

Itachi then left the room to put away the groceries leaving a stunned Tobi and a very embarrassed Deidara.

"Hey! When are you gonna untie us?" asked a very angry fish man.

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Ruki: Inspiration for this story courtesy of my muses Puppy, Teddy, and Akito.

Shadows & Twi: still crying please review!


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